Total Adoration: Love Letter to the Black Woman

elements of aliel arise black soap and coffee scrub

February is the month of black history and love. Many will be swept off their feet for Valentine’s Day. As a black woman who hasn’t dated anyone in her adult life, I often feel so left out of the love. Me as a black woman I never understood this notion of my power until recent years. As I continue to evolve I am able to see the beauty in me. Self-love is a powerful force that is truly rare and the most liberating feeling in the world because if you set your tempo then you are able to flourish.

For every woman out there but especially my black women who may have battled so much in your life. We battle the appropriation of our essence by others who desire to appear cool but aren’t. We are stripped of our power often in corporate settings because we desire to scale the ladder. The stigma of being Superwoman to a world that doesn’t love us. As I reflect on my life, I know this one thing that if I focus on love it will grow. If I focus on my strength and power it will blossom.

Often left out of the mainstream mix of faux depth and positivity, I wrote this love letter to myself. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and repeating the negative recording I wanted to push out something that was different yet me. I am not one of those peppy types nor am I into the faux images of greatness. My version of beauty is like that of a dark roast coffee. It’s robust and pungent. Once it takes effect it can have you seeing the world from a higher level.Elements of Aliel arise and love cleanser

If your single or not you are so perfect and deserving of nothing short of a miracle. Recently I learned about this notion of self-compassion. Now it’s something that makes sense on an intellectual level but on a heart level is so delicately worn. To see yourself in the light of compassion is to truly understand yourself to be unapologetically yourself. To strip down the day before my enticing self-care session with my Elements of Aliel, an amazing Black created and owned brand. I value not just what I adorn myself with but also the depth of my beauty.

I penned this love letter to myself as I embark on this year I want it to be surrounded by the notion of love and self-reflection. I am proud of being a black woman. I see the value in being someone who has overcome so much and learned so many precious lessons. We can’t be connected to anyone until we have done the work of connecting with ourselves. We can’t love another until we fully love ourselves. I would love for you to do try this exercise with me.elements of aliel arise black soap and coffee scrub

Strip off of everything from makeup to your wig if you have one lol. I’m rocking a baldie so I can get real nakey. Dim the lights preferable put on some candles that will uplift your mood. Play something softly or nothing at all. Look into the mirror and really look at yourself. Do you like what you are? Do you love who you see? For a long time, I couldn’t look at myself. I noticed I was only looking at the surface. I didn’t want to acknowledge my own presence. I wanted to have outside folks validate me. But in 2017, I began a new thing by looking at myself. I looked at the woman with her rolls, her hyperpigmentation, her damage. I began from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. I wanted to know her, who is the woman in the mirror. I don’t really know her.

Elements of Aliel arise and love cleanser

We often feel anxious or worried because we don’t really know who the fuck we are. We have an image in our head that we have made a shrine to, and anytime anything comes close to not validating it makes us scared. For the longest time, I wanted to be the pretty black girl. The one with the pretty hair that was full, perfect body and skin. She was sought after by men and women wanted to be near her. She was pleasant and sweet and always seemed to have it together. She excelled in her life and was able to be exalted.

As I began to look at myself more deeply, I began to destroy the image in my head. See I’m powerful, fierce and a force to be reckoned with. The pretty little image was an image that was never obtainable. I had to destroy it in order to actually love me. Valentines may be something I haven’t experienced but I have now experienced self- love which is something that goes year round.

Elements of Aliel arise and love cleanser My self-love letter

When I look in the mirror the face I see is that of a multi-faceted diamond. She is hard yet soft, spicy yet sweet. She is deeper than an ocean that can drown anyone who isn’t properly ready. Her skin is not perfectly even and she has a double chin. She currently growing out her hair after having to cut the damage from the world. She has full lips that make lipstick come alive and give loving kisses even though it’s been many years since they have been used. Her eyes are like warm coffee that have seen many things that no words can articulate intelligently.

Her body isn’t as defined as many others and often has been a source of pain. She allowed for the longest time others to define her worth. Her tummy is puggy and her butt isn’t plump. She often felt she wasn’t authentically black because she didn’t look like the girls who were hailed as black. Is her blackness in equated to the size of her ass? Her thighs keep her hands warm and have carried her far.

Her beautiful mind is something to put in a museum. It has encountered so much yet is stronger with every lesson. Depression kidnapped many years of her life after the pain of growing in a home that could be the equivalent of a trap house. She is like so many who are under watered and left to flourish, yet still, she rose. The days came when she wanted no more of this world but she remained as she is a gift to this world.

Your beauty is like no one has ever had the blessing to see. You deserve nothing but complete and utter adoration. Anything below that isn’t acceptable. You sparkle and enchant so many. Walk in your glo my beauty. 

I hope you were able to see yourself in this letter. What would you add that wasn’t here? Make sure you check out https://www.elementsofaliel.com for their amazing skincare products.

Skincare fit for a African Queen: Black-Owned Beauty

minimo natural skincare products

February is Black History Month and Valentine’s Day is on our heels.  In the energy of self-love and nothing but total adoration for black women, let’s have a deeper spa night.  As a black woman and even as a black beauty blogger, I am always excited when I see women who create lines that look like me. I know so many people went crazy over RiRi’s Fenty Beauty as it represented whole 40 shades that gave women of color the opportunity to flourish. I haven’t really had the chance to embark on that line much but it got me to thinking about other black-owned or black-focused beauty brands.

My love for all things beauty from color to fragrance and especially skincare is strong. I don’t subscribe totally to the notion that “Black don’t crack” as we still have to take adequate care of our skin. We live in a world that is constantly moving and we are often going through so many phases. By ensuring your skincare game is solid, you can definitely slow down the aging process keeping your skin impeccable.

Black-owned skincare

I was provided some products from Elements of Aliel and it was a pure joy to work with them. I love testing out new products from indie brands because their focus is filling a great need in the market. Bigger brands are great and I definitely use some, but I have always felt the smaller brands kill it as the level of quality is richer because they actually can make changes easier.

elements of aliel arise black soap and coffee scrub

Another great brand that has been featured before is Minimo. Check out that post here.I am still rocking their products as they are effective. As someone whose bathroom counter looks like a beauty counter, I notice products I constantly reach for are the ones that yield results. My fav product from them is their Glow Skin Brightening Face Scrub and Flawless Acne-Fighting Charcoal Facial Scrub. I rotate doing physical exfoliation as it keeps my skin baby smooth and allows for the next step, serum to actually produce results. If your skin is flakey your serums and treatments can’t penetrate.minimo natural skincare products

Getting the opportunities to use brands that are made by black women makes my heart sing. 20 years ago there wouldn’t be that opportunity. Heck if we are real you reading this blog post wouldn’t be possible. With each opportunity to express and to see what this world has to offer, I’m more humbled by the blessing. Products made by us for us is important as the needs of my skin is different from my nonblack influencers. It also has more meaning to me as it’s a representative of my life.Elements of Aliel arise and love cleanser

What are some of your fav black-owned brands? I know new product lines are dropping and that makes me excited. Live your life and create your world.

Best face forward: Match your beauty for your goals!

black woman smiling wearing lancome lancome teint idole 520w

Happy 2018 ladies! I hope you’re ready for a year filled with doper content and more amazing life tips. I have committed myself to give more of me on my blog. That means sharing my life where I am now. Being 32 now, I can say comfortable the desire to be like anyone else is dead like a bad lace front.

Living your best life is my focal point in all things. From working with clients to launching my business to getting fit. You really have to look at yourself objectively and ask yourself does my image match my end results? If they don’t then you need to make the change. So if you say you want to climb the corporate ladder, start a business or find a man, you have to look the part.

In this post, I’m going to give you the basics of getting a perfectly crafted face that can be your foundation for many looks. I believe every woman especially those in their 30’s should have their go-to looks. From hair, makeup, fashion. Those things that make your booty look amazing, face looking like you woke up like this and hair that makes you happy. As I mentioned in my past post, when you look better you feel better. When you feel better your energy will shift to be in alignment with your goals.

black woman smiling wearing lancome lancome teint idole 520w
Looking at my future like…

Basic Face Must have

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FORM Beauty Review: Twist Styling Cream & Multitask Leave In Conditioner

FORM Beauty Multitask and Twist

We are on the heels of 2018! I’m excited to share with you some products I was sent from the great folks at Form Beauty. They are a new brand that specializes in curly hair products. I love brands that truly have a diversity and inclusion focus. Growing up, I never saw people that looked like me in ads. It was always white, thin and straight hair. Fast forward to 2005, which I made the decision to go natural. All I saw was 3a-3c hair types with fair skin.

Even though the natural hair community has grown by leaps and bounds as more and more women learn to cherish their hair, I still find myself not represented well. I am a plus beauty/fitness blogger and it’s rare to see chubby faces in this space. That was the fuel I need to connect and partner with Form.

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FORM Beauty Ambassador: Why you should check them out

FORM BEAUTY

Happy December! We have made it to the last month of the year. It’s been a whirlwind but a great year. To help you get a leg up on the new year, I wanted to share that I have partnered with Form Beauty! It’s been a goal of mind to work with a natural hair care brand that includes all women. Even though my hair is much shorter now, I still take care of my golden fro.

 

I stumbled upon them while sipping and scrolling on the gram. Such a deadly combo. What caught my eye was the diverse mixture of models. Not everyone has 3 a hair and not everyone is fair skinned. I love seeing brands that really get this. Many times, brands are one-sided or just old in their ways. I want products that have minimal chemicals, add moisture to my delicate strands and do exactly what they were made to do. I was sent two products that I will be giving a review on later this month.

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